Nothing Really Mattress(?): Kafka, Camus, and Importance of Translations

Brief Observations of the translations:
1. As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a giant insect.

• Diction: 'Awoke' feels very old time-y, 'found himself' sounds like he had no control over the transformation, 'insect' sounds scientific and formal
• Syntax: Having 'in his bed' come in between 'transformed' and 'into a giant insect' creates a detachment 
• Imagery/Details: 'uneasy' implies something less harsh than nightmares
• Structure: The lack of commas make the situation seem very rushed and hurried
• Other: Comes across passive

2.Gregory Samsa woke from uneasy dreams one morning to find himself changed into a giant bug.

• Diction: Having the name be 'Gregory' makes him more accessible to an American audience. Saying 'bug' makes it seem more juvenile. 'To find himself' sounds like it was more of a surprise
• Syntax: Logical progression and concise 
• Imagery/Details: 'giant bug' has a SyFy movie connotation but that might just be me...
• Structure: The sentence structure is fairly simplistic

3. When Gregor Samsa awoke from troubled dreams one morning he found he had been transformed in his bed into an enormous bug.

• Diction: 'troubled dreams' implies a cause, 'he found he had been' comes across very passive
• Syntax:  Again with the 'in his bed' separating 'transformed' and 'into an enormous bug'
• Imagery/Details: 'enormous bug' sounds like something a young child would use as a description
• Structure: Starting the sentence with 'When Gregor...dreams one morning' instead of ending it with that clause put emphasis on the person not the action.

4. One morning, upon awakening from agitated dreams, Gregor Samsa found himself, in his bed, transformed into a monstrous vermin.

• Diction: 'agitated' is an interesting word choice for dreams that in my opinion describes more of a conscious state. 'monstrous vermin' sounds old fashioned almost
• Syntax:  the order is very strange, by starting with one morning and then immediately having 'upon awakening from agitated dreams' puts emphasis on the dream.
• Imagery/Details: 'monstrous vermin' has a very negative connotation, more a pest than a creature
• Structure: so many commas, created lots of awkward pauses and really slows down the sentence

I don't think the fourth sentence works at all. It's clunky and I don't like the commas everywhere.  The meaning is lost because all of the commas make me pause each time I read it. There's so many unnecessary pauses and any meaning is lost on the reader who has to try and figure out how all the clauses related to the basic sentences. The third sentence gets the meaning across in easy to understand language and structure. It's nonchalant feeling makes an interesting contrast with the absurdity of the situation. The first sentence is ordered in an unusual way which I feel detracts from the sentence. However, its word choice makes sense and helps communicate the meaning well. I like the 2nd sentence the best. By translating the name, it adds a touch of normality to a very not normal situation. By saying 'to find himself' it comes across as more passive and like Samsa have even less control over the situation.

Translating this sentence is not an easy task. French syntax doesn't differ too greatly from English, both languages are mainly subject verb object. However, German doesn't have a dominate order (switches between SVO or SOV) and it's syntax is very different from English (as far as I could tell, apparently the online information on grammatical comparisons between languages are written towards expert linguists and not high schoolers so my understanding of the information was surface level). However, here's a helpful diagram regarding grammatical ordering of sentences that may be applicable:


Either way, these differences in sentence formation are going to cause it to be even more difficult to translate from German. You can literally translate from French and still be able to understand (Aujourd'hui, Maman est morte.=Today, Mother is dead) However, any language that doesn't order it's sentences SVO couldn't coherently translate into English. This means anyone trying to translate Kafka's work is going to leave a larger personal touch on the text.

And here's a really interesting Ted Talk on linguistics